Saturday, 23 December 2017


We have come for your children

Everybody’s sitting round watching television.

The Clash

I got a TV eye on you.

Iggy Pop

The idiot box. The goggle box. The boob tube. Telly. We all know it, and it is surely the most iconic invention of the last 100 years. I despise it for the hold it has on culture. Apparently, increasing numbers of people in the UK are cancelling their TV licences. This is thrilling news.

I remember once calling the licencing people in the UK to inform them that I had moved into an apartment, and had received a demand for the television licence fee. I explained that I had no television set, and therefore had no need to pay a fee. The tone of the Scottish woman I spoke to was skeptical and rude. The skepticism came when I informed her I didn’t use that particular cretinous opiate – good name for a band – and the rudeness came when I mentioned as an aside that I had no need for a television as I had a plentiful supply of books. She warned me that there could be visits to my apartment to check that I had no such device. I told her I would put the kettle on.

TV is mentally and intellectually carcinogenic. It is also the main weapon of the state against freedom of both thought and speech. It is a malicious nest of bias, with the BBC leading the charge. Consign your idiot box to the dustbin of history, today at the latest. If you don’t have a dustbin of history, a regular dustbin is adequate.

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