Wednesday, 6 September 2017


Venezuela, yesterday. "Hi guys! How do you like your dog?"

There is a new addition to the menu in Café Venezuela. Reports are surfacing claiming that the residents of that benighted country are now eating street dogs, and are also turning their culinary attention to the animals in Caracas Zoo.

Fans of Venezuela, and its Socialist economic policies, include Jeremy Corbyn, Diane Abbott, John McDonnell, Owen Jones and Bernie Sanders. This really ought to tell you all you need to know about the country and its parlous situation.

Nicolás Maduro, the latest corrupt incompetent to attempt to helm this failed state, took over when Hugo Chávez died, and has done nothing to reverse the disastrous Socialist policies of his predecessor. The Venezuelan tech company running the necessary software to effect and monitor upcoming elections have suggested that the incumbent capo is more interested in rigging the result than the fact that his kin are stealing peccaries and buffalo from the zoo to butcher and eat.

When will the hipster Left realise that Socialism is a bad idea in a bad world? Like everything the Left touches, Venezuela has become complex, corrupt, failed and unrealistic. Maduro is currently offering $5 million to the victims of Hurricane Harvey in a bid to make himself look good in the eyes of the rabble mentioned above. And his countrymen are eating dogs in the street.

A good friend of mine and I had a hoot a couple of years ago on the Kent coast. I took a video of him on the beach as he inscribed a legend in the sand;


We had some laughs, I can tell you. I still laugh today, re-watching this video. But it is laughter in the dark. Socialism is a repulsive dogma largely because, as Margaret Thatcher famously said, its problem lies in the fact that eventually you run out of other people’s money. Winston Churchill, the national hero the Left loves to hate, presumably because he had the nerve to defeat someone who was actively killing Jews, had this to say about Socialism;

‘Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy. The inherent virtue of Socialism is the equal sharing of misery’.

Socialism clearly does not work. Venezuela, instead of being some fashionable prop for ignorant political chancers such as the revolting cretin Abbott – who could still be the UK’s Home Secretary – should be a dire warning to the world. Chavez even went so far, in 2008, as to expel Human Rights Watch at the same time he was arming and indoctrinating Venezuelan street gangs, thus forming his own insane militia. This is equivalent to telling a soccer referee he can have the day off from the big game, and simultaneously giving all the players guns.

Owen Jones – a queer we would all like to see sailing from a high Iranian rooftop – has been a long-time cheerleader for this disastrous regime, indicating that the Left don’t actually care about real people, merely their public profile as it stands with readers of The Guardian. Now, though, he has gone a little schtum on the subject. He was an election observer in 2012, along with the odious Abbott, who preferred a paid-for trip to South America to the NHS meeting she was scheduled to attend. Venezuela, and Chavez, belched Abbott, showed that ‘another way is possible’. Well, she got that right.

Hugo Chavez idolised Castro and called Kim Jong-Il a ‘comrade’. Despite his crackdown on trade unions, NGOs and social democratic parties, the Left in the UK continued to bill and coo over this insane regime. I desperately hope that Labour come to power in the UK. Should this happen, I urge my British chums to start looking at which cut from a dog is the most toothsome and nutritious.

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