Wednesday, 26 April 2017


Pen vs. sword

Dear kufr,

We have been meaning to write to you for some time. There are important things you should know. Your world is changing quickly, too quickly perhaps for you, but at a pace that we decide and you must follow. All your technology, all the toys you make, all your new cars and houses and televisions with their mindless rubbish, all these things cannot stop the change we are enforcing on you. You have all the watches, but we have all the time.

This should really be a thank-you letter. None of us realised how much you would help us destroy you. You must genuinely despise yourselves, your empty culture, your godlessness, your obsession with trivia and shallowness. It is as though we had set out to burgle your house, equipped with the tools for breaking and entering, dressed in black, in the dead of night, only to find you awake and welcoming us at the open door. We are asked in with smiles and embraces. Inside, we are treated to an excellent meal and fine wine, before being ushered upstairs to dally to our heart’s desire with your daughters. And your sons, inshallah.

But, although we are bringing much, thanks is not among our bounty. The first thing we are bringing to you, O kufr, is wisdom. The wisdom that states that freedom is your downfall, what your Greek infidels called hubris. The second thing we bring is the submission you need to fill the vacuum your freedom has created. Look at yourselves. Look at your science and your art. Look at your music and your poetry. Look at your philosophy and your history. And now your thumbs ache from computer games, your eyes are misted from watching television, you are indebted from filling your miserable house with things you neither require nor receive pleasure from. Freedom.

The opposite to freedom is submission, which you will soon taste and savour. One of the reasons our helpers and enablers, Allah’s assistants, if you will, are on what you term the ‘political Left’ is that those people, as strange as they may look and sound, are already on the road to enlightenment. Those on your Left understand dimly, through a mist or fog, that freedom is a trick, and that submission surpasses freedom as the snake surpasses the mouse. It swallows it whole. Just as your people of the Left understand that man needs to be ruled by a higher force, so too they understand the need for the word of Allah. And we have much to say about Allah.

One of your foolish Hollywood films happens to have, by chance, something resembling a clever thought, almost certainly stolen from the dar al Islam, like so much stolen by the crusaders, who will soon be vanquished. The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he didn’t exist. It has charm. But we have gone one better.

You have shown such respect to Allah it makes us blush. And the greatest of your belief is that you think we believe he exists. Do you think we are stupid enough to follow in your footsteps, and to believe that some vast being controls our destiny? There are goatherds in Kashmir who believe in Allah, yes. They herd goats. They spit and defecate into the wind. We merely believe in power. Your problem is the guilt and shame of doing away with your own god has left you vulnerable to those who claim they have not. There is no Allah. But our greatest trick is to make you believe that we believe that there is.

And so, you see, we are doing nothing more than punishing you for your stupidity. It would be the same were this a chess match which, in a sense, it is. But it is one you cannot win, for, in a way, your Queen and Rooks are the same colour as ours. There is an old Arabic proverb; Better a thousand enemies outside the house than one within. And we have many within, both the blessed and the kufr.

And so, shariah will come, inshallah. Curiously, we are conservative where your ‘conservative’ political parties are not. We wish to go back, to a time of purity and law. You wish to go forward into chaos and nihilism, a place fitting for the dar al harb.

And so we write to announce our coming so that you may prepare, and we find, to our pleasure, that preparations have already begun, like the laying of a table before a wedding feast. You criminalise those that speak against Islam. You change your customs at our every whim. Your women, in the cities where we are strongest, do not go out alone at night, in accordance with shariah. Your politicians mistranslate ‘Islam’ as ‘peace’ when they know perfectly well what it means. Your children visit our places of worship, and must do so. The wedding feast is prepared.

Mohammed, peace be upon him, is the most popular baby boy’s name in many of your cities. The call to prayer drowns out the chimpanzee music you used to listen to. Some of your people try to write against us, but space is made in the prisons. Your young girls become our playthings, and your police look away. Soon, we will be the police.

Your elites, the patched and motley buffoons you elect with your democratic right to vote, believe they can use Islam and control it at a time of their choosing. If they believe they can ride the tiger of Islam, they know nothing. Either of Islam or of tigers. You yourselves need not fear us. Most of you will live and be safe. We will have need of you in service.

And so, we will leave you with this thought; When Islam and shariah are triumphant, and the crescent eclipses the cross, it will be because of your freedom. Of what use, then, was that freedom?

With regards,


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